The Smart Woman’s Guide to Succeeding on Tinder


This spec post is designed to be posted a few weeks before Valentine’s Day on lifestyle blogs aimed at single, urban women.

It’s assumed that the audience understands how Tinder works, but are reluctant to join. By explaining how readers can use Tinder safely and productively, the post asserts Tinder’s desired brand image as a serious dating service. 


What is Tinder Success?

There are as many Tinderers as there are reasons to Tinder. Once you sign on, whether your endgame is marriage, a low-pressure V-day brunch, or a little extra something to let off steam, you’ll eventually find a match who’s on the same page.

You should enjoy the journey to this match. Your whole Tinder experience should be safe, fulfilling, and fun. That’s what success on Tinder is all about. Here are some key guidelines, pooled from real Tinderers’ experiences, to achieving that success.

First, from building your profile to handling post-bad-date blues,

  1. Stay Positive

Create a profile that features bright, high quality photos and a voicey, upbeat bio. Keep the same positive attitude when interacting with matches. If an encounter doesn’t go as you hoped, remember the next match is only swipes away.

And when you’re swiping,

  1. Swipe Selectively

Only swipe right—for “Yes”—when you truly want to. Don’t swipe too quickly, but be flexible and don’t overthink this, either. Matches are not commitments.

Once you’ve made some matches and you’re ready to chat, don’t be afraid to

  1. Take Initiative

Nothing should stop you from sending the first message yourself.

If a chat goes well, and you’d like to meet in person, say so. Be ready to suggest a time and place. You stand out as a match when you’re assertive, specific, and prompt. If a chat goes badly, send a polite, final message, then assert yourself through Tinder’s “unmatch” function.

Once a chat goes well and the date is on, make sure you

  1. Know the Territory

Tinder can match users who are up to 100 miles apart. Your Tinder journey may take to you places you don’t know well. Research these places before you go. Plan your commute both ways, look up friends in the area, and find spots to explore solo.

During your date, you want to enjoy yourself, show genuine interest, and exude confidence. That’s easier when you’re not worried about your trip home. It’s also easier to leave a bad situation when you have a clear escape route.

So, finally, to redeem a Tinder experience that goes south,

  1. Have an Exit Plan

Always tell someone you’re on the date, arrange for a “safety text”, and budget for a car ride home. And always have a back-up plan.

It’s never rude to bail when you feel unsafe. You’re more likely to get out quickly if you know ahead of time where to go and how you’ll get there. The same goes if you get stood up. You’ll recover fast if you can call that friend from a few blocks over, check out that vintage boutique next door, or simply find a coffee shop and see who’s next on your swipe pile.


Remember Tinder logs an estimated 50 million users overall. That amounts to hundreds of matches and choices for you.

And it’s up to you to make your time on Tinder a success.